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What to Do If You Are Served with Divorce Papers
October 12, 2026
Being served with divorce papers can be a nerve-wracking experience, whether you knew it was coming or it was completely out of the blue. Here’s our top five tips for what to do when you see those papers.
1. Do Not Panic.
Receiving divorce paperwork, whether you expected it or not, is an emotional time and can cause a lot of anxiety. The paperwork includes a Summons, which spells out that a lawsuit has been initiated, and a Petition for Dissolution, which spells out your spouse’s requests. The Petition includes your spouse’s perfect day in court, so it may be shocking to see a request for spousal maintenance or sole physical or sole legal custody. Keep in mind that just because a request is listed in a Petition does not mean that is what will happen in the end. If a request is not made at the beginning, it is difficult to ask for it later, which is why that Petition you receive may look like your spouse is being aggressive in their requests. You will also have an opportunity to respond to the paperwork with your requests.
2. Do Not Ignore the Paperwork.
Review the paperwork closely; don’t put it in a drawer and think it will go away. You have an obligation to respond with an Answer, a document which spells out your request, within 30 days of service. If you were personally served (someone handed you the paperwork), that clock starts from the day you received the paperwork. If you received the paperwork in the mail and/or email with a request to sign an Admission or Acknowledgment of Service, that clock starts from the day you sign.
If you do not serve an Answer, the court can grant your spouse’s request in a default. This is something you want to avoid, especially if you do not agree with the requests in the Petition.
3. Consider Contacting an Attorney.
You do not need to have an attorney in a divorce case. If you and your spouse do not have complicated assets, have no kids, and are amicable, you may be able to go through the process without legal advice. But you don’t know what you don’t know, and even having an attorney draft and an attorney review the paperwork can ensure you have thought through the issues. A family law attorney can help you determine your next steps, navigate the process, and reach an equitable settlement. If your spouse has an attorney, it’s usually a good idea to retain an attorney yourself to help level the playing field.
4. Contact Your Support System and Think Before Reacting.
A divorce is much more than a legal process. It’s a very emotional process, and getting the support you need is crucial. Get in touch with your friends and family who can provide necessary support. Starting or continuing therapy to help you process this significant life change and the emotions that come with it is also very helpful.
Also, be sure to think before reacting, especially on social media or otherwise in writing to your spouse. What you write is under a microscope and could be used against you. It can also create a more adversarial process, making it more expensive and a longer process too. Think about what you put in writing on social media or to your spouse as if the judge will see it.
5. Gather Important Documents and Information.
All financial information will need to be disclosed in a divorce. Beginning to gather taxes, statements, income documents, appraisals or other valuations, and working to create a budget can be helpful to get a head start on the process. If you have not been the financial manager in your relationship, or there are assets you don’t have access to, know that it will be disclosed throughout the process. Also, if you have information related to custody and parenting time, such as texts or other writings, photos, or records, begin to gather and organize these as well.
Contact Henningson & Snoxell, Ltd.
Being served with divorce paperwork is just the first step in the process. How you respond both legally and otherwise can set the tone for the case. If you have been served with divorce paperwork and you are looking for representation to help with your response and provide guidance through the process, contact the family law attorneys at Henningson & Snoxell for a consultation to discuss your case.
